Things Nobody Told You About Marriage

Marriage can be fun and sometimes stressful. And even when it’s perfect and running smoothly at first, be sure that marriage will definitely bring lots of changes to your life. Often heard the cliché “a good marriage takes work”? Well, as old and common as it sounds, it’s the honest simple truth. Despite existing love, it takes lots of effort and working together to keep it moving. Thus it’s important to always see marriage as work in progress. 

A happy marriage has nothing to do with being in love. It’s about endurance, acceptance, and most of all commitment. Marriage can be full of highs and lows that no one ever prepared you for. But be certain that some of these frustrations are those very things that make your love stronger – this indeed is the strange but intriguing beauty of marriage!

There are times you’ll go to bed angry and most likely wake up angrier. The need for a good argument with your spouse sometimes can’t be ignored. But when such arguments turn into silly back and forth trivialities, there’s a need to give it some rest. Calm yourself and let the emotions settle a bit. By then you would have gained some perspective and you can peacefully state your point. 

He wants to be by himself? Don’t feel bad. It’s only normal. There’ll be times when you crave being alone too. Being married doesn't mean you both have to spend every free moment together. It’s quite healthy and sane to set aside time to do your own things; probably do a hobby or spend time with friends. You’ll be surprised how happier you’ll both be when you come together again. 

When single and perhaps while courting, you’ve always had your way with things. Now you are married, it might be same. You are two different people and opinions may tend to differ. Don’t lock horns when it does. Respect his views and find a way to strike a balance between conflicting views. Compromise when necessary and amazingly, he’ll be willing to do same too.

Another side of matrimony is sporadic sexual dry spells. Is that possible? Yes! Though not always but expect periods of “no-sex”. For one reason or the other it happens. And at times, it’s only natural if you aren’t in the mood or he isn’t. Not having sex daily doesn’t mean you love him less or he’s getting it elsewhere. There are times when after a demanding day, a good shuteye means much more to him (or you) than sex. Save yourself some anxiety, don’t get worked up. Some little bit of attention or contact (kissing / hugging) does help you stay connected during such periods.  

He’s not the perfect version of your ideal man? Well, don’t keep pushing yourself hard trying to change him. Most times we make that mistake of believing we can change the person we love, forgetting that he’s a full grown man with years of beliefs and habits. Such transformation is simply an effort in futility. Appreciate him and learn to love him as he is.

Keeping a tab on your husband’s errors and shortcomings? You’ve got yours too, you know. Admit it, you ain’t perfect. No one is actually! Marriage is an opportunity to discover your flaws if you haven’t. The truth hurts but there’s much gain in self-honesty. Deal compassionately with your imperfections, and you’ll see how easy it is to overcome frustrations. 

You are both human, so patiently discover, learn and progressively enjoy a lifetime of love and bliss!