Who Pays for What? Marriage and Finances

After all that planning and the big wedding you probably want the honeymoon phase to last forever. Tough luck. The longer you stay in a relationship (talk less of marriage) the more you are going to be confronted with real life issues; money being the root of all evil must show up. Before you decide who pays for what, here are some valuable gems I have gathered over the years. Like I said I am ready for marriage.

We all have different backgrounds. What we witnessed with our parents goes a long way in our psyche. I, for instance watched my dad pick up all the bills so it may be a bit strange for me if my husband demands that I pay for certain things. However, I fully understand that the times are different. Some people have watched their mothers man the finances in the home so they expect naturally to be in charge and have a higher tendency to hide incomes and assets. You have to discuss these past experiences and habits so you understand each other better.

Should You Pay School fees?

No, my sister you should not. There is something I heard from my pastor’s wife that has stuck with me till date. She said women weren’t wired to bear the full brunt of responsibilities especially financial ones. If a woman pays her children’s school fees for one term the whole street would hear.  If it was such a regular normal occurrence why do the women who do this feel the need to brag about it? Yes, there are times a woman may need to chip in but paying school fees should not be a regular delegation.

I can hear some men asking “Why?” To get a woman to submit totally to you there are just some responsibilities you should handle as a man.

Who should pay for gadgets?

I am going to include DSTV bills as gadgets. Seeing as our government did not come to our aid in this day light robbery, if he is a football fan, let him pay for DSTV, if not you would be very happy with a N1,800 subscription from their cheaper alternative. Gadgets for the house most times are a man's prerogative.

Now does that include kitchen ware and accessories? If you can push your luck try.

Children's bills: Baby food etc.

They are your children too. There is nothing wrong with feeding the children and the home but I advise that you do not use all your money on feeding alone. Try to buy some tangible items for the home. Everyone likes to eat good food but they dismiss the amount of money and time that goes into it. This reminds me of a story my friend's mother shared. She stayed with her boyfriend during her NYSC, he bought all the electronics and she bought the food stuff. When they were splitting up, he took his electronics but where was she going to take the food stuff from?

Women need financial wisdom more than anything. In all your spending and taking care of your home, you must have emergency savings and money set aside for a major investment.

Imagine the joy you would give your husband if you're able to finance his brilliant idea ( that's why you have to minimize the things you spend on). Imagine the pride you would feel.

Rent

If you want to live well, in a good area please contribute to the rent. If your earnings cannot allow you even contribute 40% of the rent you shouldn't pressurize your husband.

In all things use wisdom according to your home.

Stay Blessed.